By: Heather Tompkins, Ph.D., MS-ATR, MA, LCMHC

Military life is synonymous with change. While change can be positive, it also can bring stress. The concept of normative military stressors- unique stressors that are an inherent part of military life- is central to military life. A primary example of a normative military stressor are Permanent Change of Station (PCS) moves. Relocation is an anticipated part of military life, with service members and their families moving on average every 2-4 years. Military families move more often and longer distances than civilians. On average, a military family will move 6-9 times between when a child starts kindergarten and graduates from high school. Currently, PCS season is in full swing for many military families (including my own), with peak volume occurring during the summer months from mid-May to mid-September.

A PCS move brings a unique blend of personal, family, and logistical challenges. “Life as usual” consists of managing house packouts, finding childcare/changing schools, career/employment transitions, and adjusting to a new duty station/environment, among other things. As a military spouse who has experienced numerous PCS moves (not counting temporary housing or moves between), I feel fairly versed in the process, the challenges, and the relief the end of each move brings. While moving to a new duty station brings the potential for new personal and professional opportunities, a prolonged or complicated PCS can tax or overwhelm the most adaptable military families. The relocation process presents a dual burden: 

• Logistical Challenges: Managing packing/HHG delivery, travel coordination, housing transitions, expenses, and physical establishment in a new location. 
• Psychological Strain: Exerting cognitive and emotional energy to adapt to new environments, settle into new workplaces or school systems, navigating medical/healthcare, managing loss of local support networks.

Re-establishing and managing a household, career, and family life, while simultaneously absorbing these emotional demands can require substantial physical and mental bandwidth. From my own PCS experiences, I’ve learned a few strategies to help manage the stress and help my family adjust to whatever each new duty station brings.

Three Practical Ways to Manage Stress During Transitions
1. Practice Self-Awareness and Reflection
Self-awareness is the ability to see and understand your own thoughts, feelings, actions, and how you fit into the world. It can be internal (feelings, triggers, core values, and habits) and/or external (how other people see you and how you affect them). Practicing self-awareness allows us to be aware of and manage strong feelings, guides our choices, and helps us to keep how we live in-line with our values. One tool that I frequently use when engaging in self-awareness is metaphor. The water depth metaphor (swimming, treading or sinking) has become my go to when assessing where I am at and how I’m coping amidst military life’s normative stressors.

Normally, I’m swimming along, think Dory (just keep swimming, swimming, swimming), fulfilling my day-to-day personal and professional activities. However, during periods of stress or transition, such as our current PCS, my “normal swimming along” shifts and oscillates between swimming steadily and treading water.

• Swimming: Feeling grounded, moving forward with purpose and on solid footing, comfortably managing and adapting to current demands and challenges.
• Treading Water: Exerting continuous effort to stay in place and keep your head above water to keep up with day-to-day tasks, working hard but not moving (forward or back), “surviving” a busy period, stress, challenges without making progress.
• Sinking: Experiencing acute overwhelm where overlapping stressors feel unmanageable, loss of energy to stay afloat, failing or dropping below the surface.

No matter how prepared, organized, or experienced we are, it is normal for our stress levels to rise as we manage the logistics and psychological strain that come with the transitions of a military move. Engaging in a self-awareness check is a healthy way to gauge where your mental and emotional well-being are during both normal and heightened periods of stress. Likewise, during a prolonged or complicated transition, a simple pause and asking yourself: Am I swimming, treading, or sinking in water? Can provide the opportunity to evaluate whether we are coping and managing these stressors or do we need additional support and resources.

2. Utilize Resources and Supports
I have found over the 15 years of military life, navigating military stressors and transitions does not have to be done in isolation. We each have our supports, whether it is family, friends, neighbors or a combination of that we can turn to during life’s stressors. Likewise, turning to military-informed professionals ensures that the support received is anchored in an understanding of the nuances and realities of military life. Specialized support and resources help bridge gaps in care during times of change, transition, and geographic relocation. As a military family, we are fortunate to have numerous resources both on and off installation that exist to support well-being through every stage of relocation and service. A few examples include (not exhaustive list):

• Star Behavioral Health Providers (SBHP): SBHP helps bridge the gap in specialized behavioral health care by connecting military-connected clients with civilian providers specifically trained in military culture and evidence-based treatments. starproviders.org 
  https://starproviders.org/find-support/
• Military OneSource: A comprehensive 24/7 service offering confidential non-medical counseling, relocation tools, and practical support for every aspect of military life. https://www.militaryonesource.mil/
• inTransition Program: For service members currently receiving mental health care, inTransition provides coaching and support to ensure continuity of care during transitions, PCS moves, or separation from service. https://veteran.com/intransition-program/
• Military Family Life Counselors (MFLC): Provides free and confidential counseling to service members, their families (including children), and survivors on or near installations. In addition, military leaders can request briefings and grief counseling for their units. https://www.militaryonesource.mil/resources/tools/mflc-locator/

These are just a few of the many resources available to military service members and their families that are easily accessible and can provide a variety of support services across the various stressors and stages of transition in military life.

3. Prioritize Re-adjustment, Stability, and Self-Care
PCS impacts the entire family unit. Relocation leads to disruption to routine, stability, and support networks, requiring constant adaptation and flex. Thus, regaining stability after a PCS requires deliberate, structured effort. Military families can foster adjustment and stability by actively prioritizing the following:

• Restoring Routines: Re-establishing predictable household rhythms, daily schedules, and family activities to rebuild a sense of safety and normalcy.
• Connecting with Resources: Securing medical/behavioral healthcare providers, establishing childcare/ school enrollment, identifying both on/off installation supportive resources.
• Building Community: Proactively seeking out local support networks, school/childcare contacts, and peer connections both on and off installation to build your “village”.

Whether you are swimming steadily or working hard to stay afloat, remember that self-awareness is one of the first steps toward well-being. You do not have to endure change, transition, and stress in isolation. There are resources and supports available. As my family’s current PCS comes to an end, my oscillation between swimming steadily and treading water is beginning to move to calmer water. What about you? Take a moment and notice where you are today (swimming, treading, or sinking) and what supports can help bring you back to swimming.

The opinions in CDP Staff Perspective blogs are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Uniformed Services University of the Health Science or the Department of War.

Heather Tompkins, Ph.D., MS-ATR, MA, LCMHC, is a Military Behavioral Health Psychologist with the Consortium for Defense Psychology (CDP) at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences in Bethesda, Maryland. In this role, she provides oversight and fosters collaboration for creative arts related research projects in partnership with the Defense Intrepid Network.